Holly Madison can take a look back and realize her relationship with the late Playboy editor Hugh Hefner, who she was with between 2001 and 2008, was not good for her. However, when their breakup was taking place it wasn’t as bad.
“For me, I think,” holly madison stated Tuesday on the podcast of Nick Viall’s “The Viall Files, “the scariest thing about leaving the relationship was — because I’d been in this hit TV show and been presented a certain way and everybody kinda thought they knew me, and I was kinda synonymous with the Playboy brand, and I didn’t really know if I’d be able to go out and, like, lead a normal life or date like a normal person, so that was a big fear for me.”
holy madison co-starred in the reality show Girls Next Door, which aired from 2005 until in 2010. It followed her along with other Hefner female friends, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson, and their lives in Playboy Mansion. Playboy Mansion.
When she looked back, holly madisom said there wasn’t one thing that caused her to leave the estate of Hefner.
“It was a combination of things that finally made me ready to leave. It was like, you know, getting into my late 20s and realizing that I wanted to have kids someday, and also, I’d started working more, whether it was through the show and also like working at the Playboy Studio,” holly madiso confessed. “I started to get a lot more confidence because I was working. And that helped.”
There was something else too.
“But it was also something odd occurred towards the conclusion of the relationship, where the other girls had left and I was left alone and him, and he began to verbally abuse me. …” holly madiso confessed. “He liked to, you know, encourage drama between the other girls, and he didn’t have that anymore. So it was just me realizing that he was the problematic one. Like, I could no longer say, ‘Oh, I’m miserable here because of the other girls. Oh, if the other girls weren’t so mean.’ Not that Bridget or Kendra was mean. There was a long history of, like, other women that lived there before that, so I don’t want anybody to think I am talking about either of them. But, for a long time I made excuses, saying, ‘Oh, it’s just the other girls. If they weren’t here, you know, this could be a fun situation. But then when it was just me and him, I realized… this is what I’m dealing with, I can’t do it anymore.”
holly madison was looking back at her relationship in love with heugh Heffner in her memoir from 2015, Down the Rabbit Hole as well as earlier this year, on the A&E show The Secrets of Playboydocuseries, saying that the atmosphere in Playboy Mansion was “cult-like” and confessing that she felt that she was pressured into having sexual relations in the presence of the mogul from media after their very first meeting. holly madisom also described Hugh Hefner aged 70 at the time they started dating, as being “manipulative.”
She explained to Viall her reasons for coming out about her feelings.
“For me, when I shared my story, it was just important for me to share everything about it, like the bad things as well as the good things, because on Girls Next Door, our lifestyle was packaged to look just very fun and happy and almost like family friendly in a way,” holly madiso explained. “And when I got off the show, I felt like a normal person living my life and running across people each day who would talk to me and have preconceived notions about my life, or believe they knew what things went, and it began to bother me after a while as I was feeling like, in the beginning, I would simply react to people with what I believed was the right way to respond, such as”Oh, yes everyone’s awesome or whatever. It was then that I began to believe that I was living in a lie, and it began to weigh on me.
“And I felt like I had a lot to share as far as, you said, power dynamics in relationships and relationships that are abusive in different kinds of ways, whether they’re, like, emotionally abusive or, you know, financially abusive.”
holly madisom has said that she’s had the opportunity to connect with other people via her personal story.
“I mean, obviously the situation I was in was very unusual, and I think because it was so unusual, I was able to make excuses for it for a long time because, obviously, you get into it knowing it’s not like a typical relationship,” holly madisom confessed. “So I made a lot of excuses for it but I found that you know, my story connects with a lot of people, and they see echoes of it sometimes in their own relationships that they then got out of.”
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